It’s been a while since we have done any sort of official adoption update on social media. It has not been for lack of anything happening, rather there has been A LOT going on and information was in flux for a while.
Typically, we share the most often on Facebook and some on Instagram. We come to this blog when we have a bit more to say. This time we waited to share until we had come to a completely formed decision. And then we allowed ourselves time to process all the emotions that came with it before sharing publicly.
For privacy reasons, we will not go into any details, but we made the agonizing decision to decline the official referral for the child we thought would be joining our family. In case anyone is wondering what happens with him now… Our agency and social workers in Colombia will continue to advocate for this precious boy.
It was not a quick decision. It was one of the most difficult ones we have had to make since we have been married. The gravity of this decision and what it meant not only for our existing family unit, but also for a little boy who desperately needs a family weighed heavily on us. In the end with all the information we received, we came to realize our family was not best fit for this child. We cannot elaborate any more than that.
It was not a typical 2 week referral period as it usually is in international adoption. Because we had received information about a waiting child in a country which we did not have a dossier yet (our dossier had been in Haiti) it took several months for us to have a new homestudy and get a new dossier to Colombia. So this child grew in our hearts for 11 months. It’s a sense of loss that we have trouble putting into words. Thankfully, with how our agency operates, this child had not yet come to know that our family exists, so this loss is ours to bear and not his.
We know people will ask… so are we still adopting? The short answer is yes.
We are essentially back in the “waiting to be matched” phase. We have been letting ourselves grieve what we thought our family would look like this fall. Our agency has been giving us the space and time we need as we process what has transpired over the past couple months.
We don’t necessarily expect another match to come along quickly and we have some big things to focus on as a family over the next couple months. We trust that when it is God’s time, He will show us who our #3 is. We look forward to sharing that news with you one day.